Humans.

I have come to realise that their are a lot of self-absorbed people in this world. They're so wrapped up in their own problems and own dramas that the thought of anyone else having anything significant occuring in their life is beyond them.

I find this infuriating.

They're the types that in the course of a conversation may ask you once how you are (often in a disinterested tone) before desperately trying to find a means to direct the conversation back to themselves. They are convinced they are the centre of the universe (whether they consciously or subconsciously think this way).

I heard a fact recently, "there are roughly 10.3 trillion stars in the known universe for every person on the planet, whilst our planet revolves around 1 star..."

So my message based on this fact is that people should put their own lives in perspective or at least consider the lives of others. We all have our own achievements, dramas, heartaches, disappointments, moments of ecstatic joy and times of soul-crushing sadness. No one's experiences are more significant than anyone elses.

On that note, I'm going to go to pee, go to bed and stare at the ceiling for a while and silently pray that I am not one of these people.

Adious

A bit of BBC to start the week...

When I think about it now, yes I do get upset. I get a bit angry. I get disappointed (mainly in myself) but I have realised that I am too much of an awesome person to care anymore. So when I get that gutted feeling like my insides are actually getting ripped out... I remind myself that I am a pretty cool.

If that doesn't work, nothing beats a bit of Christina Aguilera's 'Fighter' to get me through.

This probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else reading this and that doesn't really bother me. All I know is that when I read this back I will know what I am referring to.

Enough of that, I'm going to the dietician tomorrow. I doubt she will be impressed by my food diary. In fact, I'm pretty repulsed by what I eat. They say that when someone is trying to lose weight they should religiously record everything in a food diary so that the end of the day when you look at it you can appreciate how much horrible stuff you've been eating. Whilst my food diary is not for the purpose of weight loss, but more recording of my sugar intake, it is still quite confronting seeing how much shit I eat.

Considering I meant to be eliminating most forms of sugar in my life I doubt she is going to be impressed with the Cold Rock visit I had this week. Lemon sorbet with nerds, wizz fizz and fruit tingles... so much sugar.

I have no regrets.

Survivors Guide to Law School.

Think about all of the stereotypes of law school and legal types and I can assure you that what you visualise it quite close to the truth. From the Audi driving, immaculately dressed uptown girls to the tutor that wears nothing but sweater and shirt combo's and perpetually has a cup of coffee attached to his hand. The work is hard and unfortunately I'm learning that there are no shortcuts. You work hard or you fail. If you fail and repeat this adds to your ever increasing study debt.

I had an exam on Friday. It went horribly to say the least. Ridiculous time contraints on work that if done properly, would most likely take a couple of days to complete. There were tears and extreme stress from class mates. There was delirious laughter by some upon completion and you could tell exactly what they were thinking, "what the fuck have I gotten myself into?!"


This leads me to a discussion of a brilliant website my sweater-wearing, caffeine-addicted tutor got the class onto, 'Law School: A Survivor's Guide.' One post particularly amused me, it was one of the "You know you're a .... when ..." things that you often see floating around facebook. A few of them were so spot-on and brilliant that they warranted a re-post in my blog.

So you know you're in law school when...

• "You can't remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself."
• "In high school, receiving a mark of 80% was the end of the world. Now you're at law school a mak of 80% feels like the best thing that will ever likely happen to you."
• "You can't watch legal shows because of all the inaccuracies. You prefer to watch the far more realistic medical dramas and dream about the career you could have had."
• "When someone tells you things are not as bad as they seem, that person is wrong. Things are as bad as they seem, and they may actually be worse."
• "You realise your life is full of lawsuits waiting to happen. Someone knocks you over at the train station - assault? You're also carrying a bag - trespass to goods? The floor is wet and hasn't been mopped - negligence?"
• "Come exam time you get incredibly frustrated by the amount of study time you lose to mundane yet essential tasks like eating, sleeping and showering..."

Just to reiterate one of the above points, the whole time I was writing this I was thinking about the legalities about not properly attributing the above quotes to it's rightful author. Plagiarism? Copyright infringment?

The fundamental point is this: law life be a cynical life.

Just having a peruse...

I enjoy words that roll off the tongue nicely. Peruse is one of them.

Me: "Do you need a hand finding anything at all?"
Customer: "No, no just perusing."

Brilliant!

Archipelago is another particular favourite of mine. However it's difficult to just slip into conversation - although it has been easier is this last week following the spate of natural disasters afficticting the Indonesian archipelago.

(See what I did there? I managed to slip it in. Boo yeah!)

To tell you the truth, I'm going to stop there. I just realised how tired I am. I have a massive case of the CBFs at the moment.

I'm a horrible blogger. The last one I wrote was over a month ago and this is the best I can do? Pathetic.

I feel like a foot massage, some reassurance and an email from my tutor to say tomorrow's class is cancelled so I can catch-up on some sleep.

xoxo
P.S Meagan I am both inspired and saddened of your abandoing of Facebook. I wish I had your strength.

Trust, "faggots" and sugar-free life.

Beware: no thought has gone into this blog whatsoever. I've hastily stumbled into writing this so I can change the little blog title on my facebook page to something a little less emo. I've been letting the emo take over a far too much lately. Kind of like the "bad Spiderman" in Spiderman 3, however I'm minus the cocky attitude and the gay fringe. By the way, if I make any reference to homosexuality on the internet will my readership condemn me like tweeters condemned Stephanie Rice for the use of the word "faggot" in her tweet? If truth be told, in context it was actually quite amusing. Don't get me wrong, in the wrong context I find the word offensive but it's not likely she went on some anti-gay tyrade saying something along the lines of "burn all faggots!" or the like....

Now onto a totally different topic which I am going to start with a dicitionary definition...

Trust: firm reliance on the integrity, ability or character of a person or thing.

Another definition...

Trust: One of the hardest things to obtain and one of the easiest things to lose.

I like to think I am trustworthy kind of person. I like to think I show integrity and character but why, when displaying on the traits that constitutes trustworthiness am I still not completely trusted? I don't get it.

Finally, I will publicly declare that I'm back to eating meat. Not out of choice mind you, it's because I recently found out I'm fructose intolerant and because I can eat so little now, I have to go back to eating meat as it is one of the few things I'm permitted to consume. So I unfortunately have come to the moral crossroads where I have to choose between self-preservation and animal preservation. As a human I position myself at the center of the universe so the former prevailed. I'm not going to lie, I feel dreadful for doing it...really, really dreadful but if you understood how little I can now eat it makes sense. A short and in no way comprehensive list of what I'm NOT allowed:

Almost all fruit (including tomatoes)
Most vegetables (including onion and lettuce even!)
A lot of herbs and spices (no garlic!)
No wheat products (fructose is found in wheat products)
Pretty much any processed food as everything contains sugar
Marinades, sauces, vegetable and beef stocks
Chocolate (or fake chocolate)
Alcohol (no more than 1 glass of white wine)

And that's not eveything. Eating used to be a joy. It's not anymore :o(

In good news! Grand Final Day, Epic Weekend Away, Steresonic, Falls Festival and summer are all just around the corner! Can't hardly wait! (Red flag: Is that also the title of a movie made in the 90s? A horrible, horrible movie?)

That's all
Nighty-night
oxxo

Fuck up 101

This is what a shit human looks like. Have a look. See what you can improve on.

I feel shit house. Really, really shit house and there is nothing I can or could have done about it.

That's what makes it that little bit worse. ..

Tranquilize the beast!!

This blog, up until about 5 seconds ago (when I had a kind of epiphany mid-sneeze) was going to be one of my periodic purging of the crazy in my life. I see my inner crazy side as being a kind erractic, unrestrained beast that when it rears it's ugly head requires prompt tranquilization and swift caging. If my inner BBC was to take an animal form perhaps it would be a lion or perhaps a less noble animal...maybe a disease-ridden monkey. I'm not too sure. Anyway, instead of going on a tyrade about;

a) My body being pretty much deficient in everything and pathetic
b) The fact that I'm almost pooping my pants I'm so nervous about starting uni again and the possibility of failure
c) How long it is until summer...

I have decided to write a list of my favourite things (you might have noticed by now that I like writing lists, it's a bit of an OCD trait of mine - For instance, I've already written a "to pack" list for my trip to South America which is 6 months away)

A few of my favourite things...

* Being around my loved ones
* Waking up, my alarm going off and realising I have no where I need to be.
* Being in bed when it's raining outside
* Getting into my comfies after a long day
* Seeing Rhys at the end of a such a day
* Waking up/falling asleep to rain on the roof
* The outdoors
* Being in love (note: this can also be a LEAST favourite thing)
* The euphoria after a Richmond win
* The warm, fuzzy drunk from red wine
* Dinner dates with my bitches
* The relief after handing in an assignment - nothing beats it
* Mojitos in summer
* A good cup of chai
* Cheese
* Cuddles from my significant other
* Summer nights
* People watching - anywhere, anytime
* Baby's laughing
* The feeling of accomplishment after a decent work-out
* Reading the last page of a good book
* Capturing a perfect photo
* Reunions with family and friends
* Well-illustrated picture books
* Going on an adventure
* Long, hot showers
* The drive home FROM work
* Being at airports because they're the gateway to the world
* My bonsai tree
* Sunsets - sunrises are overrated, they're too early and they don't produce the pretty purple colours sunsets do.
* Spending all day long at the beach, no make-up, no stess, sand in my hair and knowing that it's acceptable for me to wear my bathers around for hours afterwards.
* Going to a party when all my friends are collectively reckless
* Wendy's flake shakes
* My new camera
* Wood-fire pizza cooking days at the Barnes household
* Summer at Phillip Island, Rosebud and Tathra
* Beer pong
* Armani Code for Women. Mmmmmm.
* Love Actually - gives me a similar warm fuzzy feeling that red wine does.
* Grand Final Day - everyone is in a festive spirit, getting loose and watching the best game in the world
* Alfred Nicholas Gardens
* Cyber stalking - everyone
* Daydreaming of my trip to South America.
* Palmer's Cocoa Butter
* Bread - a consequence of working in a bakery for so many years
* Sitting in front of the open fire on a cold night

That'll do. I feel sufficiently positive after writing and reading that list that I think I can go to sleep relatively peaceful and content

A couple of side notes for future Emma if, when reading this, would like to know what Emma is actually doing at this current time in her life rather than reading a whimsical discussion on things that present-tense Emma likes... (back to the lists - OCD life)

* Future Emma, your younger self just came back from the snow last week. She went with her boyfriend Rhys to Mount Beauty and attempted to snowboard at Falls Creek. It was a lovely, perfect, relaxing couple of days...however, I will be surprised if you (future Emma) turns out to be a professional snowboarder. Seriously, you sucked so fucking hard. You really don't know how to balance. I hope this has improved for you with age Emma. By the way, current Emma is concerned about her emerging cellulite and frown lines. I assume this has worstened with time...
* At the time of writing I am going to attend a Monash Uni post-grad law welcome breakfast this morning (yes, it has passed 12 so you only have around 6 hours until you have to wake-up). Tough break...
* Election day is on Saturday. Tony Abbott VS Julia Gillard. Future Emma, I sincerely hope you will read this and this will trigger your memory of the election of '10 and you will think "Oh of course! The election of the 21st of August when both the Liberal Party and ALP headquarters were claimed by massive sinkholes that mysteriously and inexplicably swallowed both leaders and the majority of their spin-doctoring, lacking-in-substance, pathetic excuses for political parties whole.

On that note, goodnight my dear cyber friends
xoxo

P.S Meagy, I assure you you are not crazy as your blog suggests. I am more crazy, however like I said, I tranquilize the beast in its tracks.
P.P.S Speaking of beasts, that reminds me of dinosaurs, the movie 'Jurassic Park' and a conversation I had recently. I think it's time I go back to uni considering that in a discussion of nature's "survival of the fittest" I frequently referenced 'Jurassic Park' over any evolutionary scientists of note.
P.P.P.S I'm sorry if this blog sounds nutso, I'm at my most mentally feral in the wee hours.